How Sturdy Are You?

Ever think about your own sturdiness? Sturdy is defined as strongly or solidly built. How strong or solidly built are you?

Perhaps there is a slightly alternative meaning here I’m putting forth.

I am listening to this excellent Huberman Lab podcast with Dr. Becky Kennedy. She defines “sturdiness” as:

The ability to connect to oneself and someone else at the same time.

And also:

Being true to (one’s) own values and needs, and can connect to someone else who probably has different wants and needs, and slightly different values at the same time.

So now having further defined “sturdy” beyond the dictionary definition, how sturdy are you?

Can you be true to yourself and your own needs while connecting to someone else who may or may not have the same needs at the same time successfully? With minimal conflict inside you? With compassion and love both for yourself and the other person?

In many clients I meet, this is the basis for many relationship issues they face.

They don’t know who they are, or what they want or need. Or maybe they do know some of that, but do not hold true to them. Or they may not honor someone else’s needs/wants in a way that is relationship building versus relationship detracting.

Or they may know a lot, but don’t know how to relate to another person in a way that fosters relationship versus taking away from it.

So potentially a lot to work on! Certainly great topics for coaching in session.

Back to the original question – exactly how sturdy are you?

And if you’re not the sturdiest person out there, what about you makes you not so sturdy? And if it’s worth it to you, how might you improve your sturdiness in life, which will make your true self as well as your relationships shine?