IM Brazil: The Workout at Miami Airport

I reach Miami airport around 3pm local time. Negotiating the airport and the airline became a test of my Ironman endurance.
The first phase of my workout here at the airport was getting off the plane and proceeding to hike approximately 1 mile from one end of the airport from Concourse D to the other in order to get to where my connecting airline, the Brazilian airline TAM, has its gates. I huff through the terminal’s construction areas and proceed to negotiate its steep uphills carrying my transition bag plus normal computer bag.
I make it to the Admiral’s Club in Concourse A only to find out they cannot check me in to TAM through their terminals. I call TAM and they can’t even find my reservation on their computers. Wonderful. This means I need to go back outside security to the check-in counters to get this done.
Well I have about 4 hours before my flight now, so I think I have time to do this even if it means the extra hassle of going through security again. So I reluctantly go back out to the check-in counters to get this straightened out. I hike back through Concourse A, out through the doors, down some stairs and into what seems to be a relatively short line at the TAM counters. I get in line and now my first test of Ironman endurance begins.
I wait.
And wait.
And wait.
I swear there must not be 30 people in line, most of them grouped by family.
I wait.
And wait.
And wait.
At times, I am forced to stand for 20 minutes at a time with the line not moving at all. I have no idea what is going on. There are four people running counters and the people they are helping are just standing there in front of them. I see virtually no movement at all.
The line moves. It inches.
I wait some more.
And more.
And more.
It inches forward.
I wait some more.
And more.
OK Broken record. Very boring. And my legs are quivering from standing there for over an hour. I contemplate taking salt tablets so I don’t cramp. My back starts to hurt from shouldering my transition bag.
After TWO F**KEN HOURS I finally make it to the counter. It takes a FULL 5 MINUTES to check me in. And I don’t even have luggage to check in! Their computer systems must run on Intel 8080 processors (OK OK a GEEK joke) because I have never seen a computer run so slow in my life.
I get checked in, and then run upstairs only to step into the slowest security line I’ve ever seen. Inch by inch I move forward as all these travelers unaccustomed to security procedures try to get through the screening. My legs are starting to get sore from standing around all day when I should be sitting and saving up energy.
I finally get up there and, of course, MY LINE IS THE SLOWEST OF THEM ALL. The TSA person insists on halting the conveyor belt for at least 2 minutes on each bag to stare at it. What a pain.
I get through security and see the finish line in sight. Back to the Admirals Club for a stiff drink, probably the last drink I’ll have before the race on Sunday.
I plop down gratefully next to the bar and post this unbelievable experience I’m having at Miami Airport. I am constantly reminded that despite the fact that we are in the 21st century, it is obvious that much of the world is still in the 19th century and shows no signs of catching up.
My dear readers, pray for me and my bike to arrive safely in Florianopolis tomorrow…