Invasion of the SHOULDS


Is your mind filled with “Shoulds”?

Clients often show up with their brains filled with “Shoulds”.

I should be working out.
I should be eating better.
I should be sleeping more.
I should be doing more at work.
I should be cleaning the house.
I should be more loving.
I should take care of myself more.
I should stop feeling this. That. Everything. Nothing.

And more.

It’s like a scene from Independence Day. Alien invasion of the “Shoulds”! Run for your lives! Where is Will Smith when you need him the most?

The “Shoulds” take over your mind. They sap your will. Eat you from the inside out like good alien parasites will. They leave you paralyzed, unable to do anything but wonder what you could be doing but can’t, and you get to watch and envy all your friends who are actually doing.

How to break the takeover your mind, body, and spirit by alien “Shoulds”?

There are many resolutions that are possible. Maybe even necessary. Coaching will help with that.

However, today I offer up one of the simpler ones.

Get a piece of paper. Write down every one of your “Shoulds” right now. Keep going. Don’t stop until you get every last one!

Then, do two things.

FIRST – take every “Should” you wrote and change that word to “WILL”. Do it now.

Then read them one by one and write down, what would turn this “Should” into a “WILL”?

Pro-tip: be as SPECIFIC as possible.

Saying something like “I need more motivation” is not specific enough!

If you are producing generalities like the above, then keep going. Ask yourself a question with the resulting answer that digs further.

“What is the motivation I need?”

I need more sleep.

“What would give me more sleep?”

I need to go to sleep earlier, and stop watching Netflix until late.

Some time before your fifth question, you’ll get the answer you are looking for. Awareness of what will make the “should” happen is the first step!

SECOND – Now take each of your “Shoulds” and substitute the word “WANT”.

Do it now with each one of your “Shoulds”!

Now read each one out loud. What happens for you when you do that? What emerges inside you? Some feeling? Emotion? Energy? Something else?

After doing both steps, how do your “Shoulds” feel now? Do you feel extra energy towards actually doing some of them? Or do you feel some of them dropping away, vanishing like mist? Give this a try right now and see what happens!

(Image credit: Independence Day, 20th Century Fox, source: ICan’

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