We live in a rush, rush world. Everything needs to be done faster. And we want everything yesterday (thank you Amazon Prime delivery).
We have no patience at all. It can’t get done soon enough.
And if it isn’t done as soon as we want, we go off the deep end.
We feel stressed. Frustrated. Angry. Lash out at those who said they could help us but didn’t.
Where is Amazon Prime for recovering from a break up or healing from chronic pain?
I will let you in on a secret.
TIME IS NOT YOUR ENEMY.
Instead of treating time as something to control, something to fight against.
Befriend time. Time is your buddy. Your best friend.
What do I mean by that?
Time can’t be manipulated like that. Your recovery, your goals, your healing – all that and more – are going to take as much time as it needs.
And that’s that.
Time and time again (more time!), I have seen this play out in clients.
Just yesterday I had a long time client talk about time.
When I first met her, she was in a very uncomfortable place: laid off, jobless, moved to new state, new life. She felt lost. Directionless. And even when a possible job landed in her lap (and they still are, even in this environment!), she could not take action to facilitate. She was frozen where she was.
Despite her stated desire to move forward to something, she simply could not. After trying a few things, I broached the topic to her that maybe staying right where she was, discomfort and all, was exactly where she needed to be right now. We talked about time, and how all of us move on our timelines, and that there are consequences to rushing beyond your own readiness.
Now a year later, she reflected on her year and realized that that time was actually what she needed. After all that time passing and taking time for her and her system to recover and calm down, she was finally truly ready to look at what was next.
In her case, it was about a year of time.
Hmm is that what you would get if you signed up for Amazon Prime Time? Delivery in a year? LOL.
Imagine if she had tried to rush things. Leap into a job which turned out to be wrong (offer didn’t show up because they could not find funding – ever work for a company who could not get their next financing? YIKES). Start something which she didn’t have real interest or heart for, wasting money and effort? Experience even more discomfort and angst fighting against something within that was saying stop and slow down?
So cultivate patience in your life. Generate awareness within yourself of time. How does the timing feel right now for something in your life? Is it the right time or does waiting feel better? And what’s causing your readiness state to be what it is right now? What would move you towards being ready?
Then gift yourself time. Be patient and let things unfold. Whenever you can, nudge them in the right direction. Ultimately you will know when the time is right.