Are You A Verbal Processor?

Do you think out loud? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Most people do at some point in their days.

But do you think out loud all the time? Your thoughts emerging unbidden vocally, as you try to make sense of them or a problem you’re trying to solve?

Perhaps you find that you can’t solve problems UNLESS you verbalize them?

Or something within you and your current situation causes you to vocalize the thoughts in your head, without end causing a spill of words that runs on too long?

And recently I’ve encountered two clients who wanted to work on their own tendency to think out loud, perhaps a bit too much.

What is too much? If you’re sitting by yourself, well, that would be up to you. But often verbal processors are NOT ALONE and that is where the consequences show up.

You see, verbal processors unwittingly bring other people along for the ride of their own thoughts externalized. And these other people didn’t ask to come along!

Depending on the situation, they can become confused, frustrated, and lose focus on what you’re saying as you seemingly talk on and on.

So therein lies a potential reason for working on this attribute of you. You may be creating a perception of yourself in others that is undesirable for your goals.

If this behavior is not getting you to your goals, you may consider working on your verbal processing!

If so, may I encourage yourself to explore:

Awareness – always first, become aware when you begin to verbal process in a situation where you don’t feel like it’s benefitting you.

Then become aware of what you are feeling. Are you fearful of something? Lacking in confidence? Nervous? Anxious? If you are, then what could be causing this in you? You may be talking on, thinking that a few words is not enough to get your idea across.

Think back to when you started verbal processing, if you can. When did it start? What was going in your life when you did? That can also give you clues as to why you do it now, and possible ways to resolve it.

And as for practices, you might try:

Practice confining any response to 30 seconds or less. Research shows that others begin to quickly lose focus and your train of thought when verbalizations of any sort go beyond 30 seconds.

Try journaling instead of verbalization as a way to process thoughts. It can help you start using another non-verbal method of processing.

Try pausing before speaking. With your mouth closed (!), just sit for a second or two or five, before responding. Use this time to marshall your thoughts before they come out of your mouth.

Practice calming techniques whenever you can. Be aware of your breathing always. Keep it slow and deep. Often verbalizations come when you are fearful and agitated, so stay cool and calm!

When you consider now your own verbal processing, where do you think it comes from? And how might some practices like the above help?