I remember back in the 90s when we talked about the “Nineties Man” – the man who was in touch with their sensitive side. You know the one. The one who could cry at movies. Order quiche. Perfectly groomed sideburns. Maybe even go for manicures.
So men would get in touch with their “feminine” sides and that was a thing. And macho men were a thing no more.
Here we are now in the 2010s and the concept is a bit more than just about whether you cared about how you dressed or not.
Humans have both a masculine and a feminine aspect. Certainly, physical gender has something to do with it. But spiritually, it is refers more about HOW you view and interact with the world. Here’s a great summary.
If we set aside physical gender, then the concepts of masculine and feminine take on broader meaning as aspects of behavior and living.
Masculine aspects – Reasoning. Thinking. Logic. Direct. Structure. Linear. Hard.
Feminine aspects – Creative. Sensitive. Empathic. Feeling. Nurturing. Intuitive. Soft.
When you consider how you approach life, which side do you lean towards?
If you aren’t sure, try adding a superlative like “over” or “never” to each word and see if that resonates with you. Or “I love…”. Or “have trouble with”. Or “fearful of”.
What emerges now?
In coaching sessions, clients often show up with too much of one side and not enough of the other. Usually it’s more of one side. Can you guess which?
If you guessed the masculine side, you’d be right!
Our society places outsized value on thinking and reasoning. That we can think our way out of any problem. That if we had all the facts, we could make a decision. And if we didn’t have enough facts, that we could go find it (thank you, Google!). Oh and if there was a problem at work or with another person, we could just go straight to the answer and everyone would be fine.
The unfortunate result of this is…
Overthinking. Indecision. Anxiety when you don’t have all the facts. Uncertainty. Insecurity. Lack of self trust. Especially when you can’t find all the facts (sorry Google doesn’t have EVERYTHING). Communication problems. Relationship issues.
So what’s the answer?
Getting in touch with the feminine aspects of your humanity!
But how would that help me?
Review the previous list of feminine attributes. If you are masculine dominant, how would being a little more of each feminine attribute help you?
And if you happen to exhibit more feminine aspects, what if you were to add a little bit of masculine aspect to your life? Might you see how your life would improve?