“Suffering for the sake of suffering is pointless. There needs to be an attainable goal or prize that you are reaching for to motivate you. If you are in a position where you have been “eating bitterness” with a path to nowhere, then you need to get off that path for your own good and sanity. Bad managers will take advantage of you if you let them. They will take credit for your work. They will avoid compensating you fairly. They will give you projects that they don’t want to do themselves. If you are constantly enduring suffering, then you will blindly accept all of this with or without complaint. Asians are often labeled “too nice” because they are always accommodating, which can be a euphemism for a doormat or punching bag. When you are constantly taking hits and never putting up a fight, people will have a tendency to walk all over you.”
From “Don’t Just Eat Bitter, Start Demanding Better” by Dave Lu.
Another great post from Dave Lu – and not just for Asians either.
How many of you are just enduring suffering, accepting it for whatever reasons you might have, BUT having negative consequences from it that overshadow any positives?
Sure, you might endure suffering for some benefits but if your negatives are overweighing whatever benefits you’re getting from it, what has you staying in this place?
In coaching, we always honor YOUR decision to stay in place, including places where you may have negative results. So I’m not going to encourage you to change, even as I promote a post which may do just that.
But may I encourage you to examine your own suffering situation, if you’re in one, and take a hard look at whether you are getting more out of it than what it’s taking out of you? And if you do, what is coming up for you?
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