Many years ago, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua came out. It coined the phrase “Tiger Mom” and forever attached that term to Asian Americans and their parents who seemed driven to ensure that their kids would excel.
Growing up, I was in the middle of a Tiger Mom jungle. It showed up in the bragging during dinner parties:
“Oh my son is going to Harvard next year, how about yours?”
“My daughter is playing a piano recital for Juilliard next week!”
“My son is going to be valedictorian this year!”
It also showed up in their amazingly high expectations for us:
“You got an A- on this test. Why not an A?”
“No hanging out with your friends – you must finish your school work and then practice 3 hours of violin!”
“We’re going to enroll you in 3 SAT prep courses so you can get a 1600!”
“You can’t be an artist! You must become a doctor or lawyer. Keep studying!”
We were just kids. We didn’t know any better.
But we knew we had to listen to our parents. Otherwise, the negative reinforcement would come. It often was intense and unrelenting.
By the time we got through college and were out in the real world, we acknowledged surviving our childhoods BUT…We were scarred.
Which one of these do you experience:
An inability to figure out what to do next, due to having your life being overly orchestrated…
A fear of making any move that it might be the wrong move…(at least according to your parents)…
Continual, regular parental feedback on why you haven’t done this or achieved that…
An underlying current of dissatisfaction and unhappiness with your life, because it is a path not of your own choosing…
…and many more.
So many clients are feeling anxious and fearful in their lives because of childhood upbringing. And many come to me because I am Asian American and look for an intrinsic understanding of where they’ve been.
Guess what – it’s not an exclusively Asian thing. Actually, Tiger Moms (and Dads) come in all races and genders.
Still, there is hope for escaping the Tiger Mom’s den.
I have worked with countless clients on resolving their parental upbringing issues. There are many paths to resolution. It takes awareness of the problem, and then figuring out the exact path given the individual.
It might involve their parents, or it might not. Or it may just be self-work.
Transforming negative beliefs that no longer serve them into positive ones, to releasing the energetic hold parents may have on them still – there are many solutions that are tailored to what shows up in a client.
And the results are remarkable.
Freedom. Energy. Happiness. Fulfillment. BECOMING A TRUE ADULT.
We release the beliefs, blocks, and barriers, and then discover who they truly are. Then we set them on a path to who they want to be. It’s amazing to see.
How does your parental upbringing affect your being at this moment?
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