How Are We The Same?

Are you in conflict with someone right now? How do you feel about that person? Do you think about the differences in opinion you have? How you both have dug in your heels and refuse to give an inch?

Tough situation to be in! You want a resolution but only see how far apart you are and have no idea how to get closer to an answer.

Here’s an idea for you. Instead of focusing on the DIFFERENCES, how about looking at how you are the SAME? In fact, it would be worthwhile for BOTH parties to take a moment, look within, and become aware of your values on this matter. Then articulate your values to each other. You might be surprised at how you both want similar things. It may just spur a new level of conversation that will get you to a resolution faster.

Sounds simple right? But yet, often we get caught up in the anger and frustration. Of not being able to get anywhere. And the fact that YOU are right and THEY are not. By becoming aware of how you want similar things and articulating that to each other, it is one way to move beyond the heightened emotions in a conflict and turn it into a negotiation instead of a battle.

Let’s take this one step further. Who else in this world might you be having a conflict with? Your community? Maybe even people you don’t know. Political groups? Social media posts? How about groups in conflict half the world away?

What are you feeling there? That you have a view and theirs is something completely different, and antithetical to yours?

Your oil to their water and no mixing possible?

What if you were to apply the suggestion above here? What if you took a moment to see how you and those groups of people were the same? Set aside the differences, the anger, the frustration, the me vs. them aspect, and just list out how you and those people are the same.

How might you be feeling now about those people?

It turns out that all humans are truly the same when you get right down to it. We are all together on this world and with common interests, faults, goals, and positive traits, and more. We may be unique in many ways, but we are also the SAME in more ways than we might realize.

And we don’t do this enough. We focus on the differences and become lost in the endless cycles of battle we have with people close to us and those that we don’t even know. Wouldn’t this be a way to end these unproductive loops we are in?

If the entire world were to acknowledge more that we are all really the same, how might that focus change our view of others that we are in conflict with now?