Do you label things in your life either GOOD or BAD?
That there should be only GOOD things. And no BAD things.
And that if there are a lot of BAD things, then I too must be BAD.
A BAD person.
Aswirl in BAD feelings about yourself.
Wondering why GOOD things don’t happen to me.
And where are the GOOD things?
The GOOD feelings about myself?
The concept of GOOD or BAD comes up often in coaching sessions. Clients often note this duality in their lives and it creates tension, discomfort, fear, and anxiety for them.
Such a simple concept though. Easy to buy into, right?
I am either GOOD or BAD. I struggle against BAD towards GOOD. If I am not one, I must be the other. And especially if I do not feel GOOD, then there is something wrong with me.
In our culture, we see the simplicity of this duality deployed everywhere.
Our parents tell us we are GOOD if you do this, and BAD if we do not.
Teachers do the same. As do friends, partners, co-workers, managers.
And then there are religious influences, and in today’s world, media, social or otherwise.
But moving away from BAD to GOOD may not be so easy, right? And our feelings flip back and forth simply because of this label.
What if this concept of GOOD or BAD were to change? What if all feelings, behaviors, things in life were actually VALID?
Stay with me here.
Yes toss the notion of GOOD or BAD. That no matter what you do or feel it is VALID.
Detachment. Calm. Ability to take a step back and see what truly is. The reason behind the behavior, feelings, or thoughts. And that the reasons are also OK.
If you are always amped up because you think you are BAD or not GOOD, how easy is it to make any changes?
What else happens?
Acceptance of who you are, just as you are now. That you are perfectly fine just the way you are now.
With ACCEPTANCE that everything about you is VALID, you can begin to shed those shackles that are holding you back. Those feelings of GOOD or BAD. Only what is. And that all of you is WELCOME just the way you are now.
How would life be if you could be that way right now?