Are You Listening to the Words That Are Coming Out of My Mouth?

If so, how exactly are you taking it in?

This infographic is very instructive. Most of the clients I meet are strong in analytical, task-oriented, and critical listening.

Relational listening is their weakness.

How did that happen?

Think back to when we needed to listen the most. In classrooms. At work. In meetings. We spend hours/days/weeks training to listen for accuracy in these situations and to generate the proper responses.

But yet how many hours a week did you spend in relational listening?

Did you spend as many hours in classroom or workplace listening that you did in listening to a friend or loved one?

Not nearly as much I bet.

Communication is a big coaching topic amongst my clients. And it’s all about relational listening and communicating.

How to connect with another person.
How to have a good conversation.
How to resolve disagreements and disputes peacefully.
How to express love and other feelings.
How to respect another’s feelings.
How to take care of their needs.

And more.

There’s skills and then there is what is inside.

What is going on inside you that is preventing you from relating to another person?

Preventing you from connecting. A good conversation. Resolving disagreements and expressing love and other feelings. Preventing you from respecting others’ feelings and being able to listen to and take care of their needs.

We level up a client’s skills and work to resolve barriers inside which prevent them from engaging those skills.

Relationships improve dramatically when this happens.

When you think about your listening styles, which ones resonate most with you? And which ones need work? And when you consider any of the styles, what feelings come up for you?

(H/T Dr. Nora Gold on Linkedin, infographic source: G.D. Bodie, D.L. Worthington, and C.C. Gearhart, 2013. Infographic: Debra Kurtz on LinkedIn)

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