Or avoiding discomfort? Some possible negative future event, like lack of money, food, or disease? Or even lack of love?
This comes up often in coaching sessions. It came up yesterday in a session where we were exploring their passions.
This client had difficulty coming up with his passions. For every one that he came up with, he consistently noted that he wanted to avoid something bad happening to him. He said he had a passion for striving towards financial independence but that was to avoid stress at work. He wanted to work less, so he could have more free time. He wanted to find new hobbies, to avoid being bored.
Can you see the negative framing?
If you are constantly trying to avoid the negatives, what happens is that once you have successfully avoided the negative, what then? Where is the motivation now to keep going in that activity?
This is where many falter. They wonder why they cannot sustain an activity which *seems* to be good for them.
It’s because without POSITIVE framing for motivation, you don’t know why you want to keep doing it after you achieve avoidance of the negative!
We then continued our discussion into why he always was trying to avoid negative results. What if he were to look towards positive results instead of avoiding negatives? He began to understand why this passion exploration was so difficult for him.
That’s because PASSIONS ARE ALL ABOUT POSITIVE MOTIVATION!!!
You have something to LOOK FORWARD TO. To GET MORE OF. More JOY, FULFILLMENT, HAPPINESS, COMMUNITY, FRIENDSHIP.
And guess what – you also get to AVOID THE NEGATIVE in a TWO-FER.
What a great deal!
Do you see how avoiding the negative only gets you just that?
By understanding and becoming aware of what POSITIVELY drives you, you can then really connect with your PASSIONS and create a life that is filled with JOY, GROWTH, FULFILLMENT, and MORE.
Isn’t that worth changing your outlook on your goals, activities, and everything else in your life?
How about you? Are you driven by avoiding the negative? If so, take one thing that you’re trying to avoid its negative results. Then, list all the POSITIVES you will get by avoiding the negative AND going beyond into positive territory.
Then take a look. How do you feel about what you created? How is your motivation changing now?