Just Talk To Them

Got conflict with someone? A disagreement? Tough conversation coming up? 

Or maybe they did something you didn’t like. Pissed you off. Wronged you.

I have the answer for you. It’s easy.

JUST TALK TO THEM.

WHAT?!?! NO WAY.

NO HOW. Not talking to them.
Let me go around them. To their manager.
Find someone else to fix them. Maybe they will just go away.
I hate conflict. Arguing. Facing anger.
They might hate me. Forever.
Or worse. Others around them might hate me too.
Can’t even face myself, let alone someone else. I might see a loser in the mirror.

Sound familiar?

In many a coaching session, I meet clients who have a problem with someone they work with. Or their manager. Or any other person.

Time and time again, the answer is the same. 

JUST TALK TO THEM.

Talk to the other person.
Work it out.
And do it LIVE if possible.
NOT VIA TEXT OR EMAIL. NO SLACK MESSAGES ALLOWED.
USE YOUR MOUTH AND EARS. TALK.
In person if possible. Video next, phone call is fine.

It’s the best way to resolve whatever problem you have. Why?

You show respect for the other person when you approach them directly. 
You acknowledge that there are two people and two sides to every problem.
You have the opportunity to resolve it peacefully and to the satisfaction of both parties. 
You build a working rapport with the other person, for future problems that may come up.
You might realize that reality is different than your perception and that the problem wasn’t as big a deal as possible.
Nor was the solution.

Wouldn’t all that be worth it?

But, Coach Dave:

I’m too scared.
I don’t know what to say.
What if he/she attacks me?
What if I look bad? What if I look weak? Meek? 
I don’t know how to approach the other person.
I think the other person hates/disrespects me.
It’s the other guy’s fault.

Yep yep. ALL RIPE FOR COACHING!

Resolutions can include:

Barriers to approaching other person.
Internal fears, limiting beliefs.
Coaching on the mindset, language, and conversation.
Education on conflict resolution strategies.
Role play.
Finding help, like a mediator person.

And others.

If you are in this situation now, how does it feel to JUST GO TALK TO THEM? And when you think about talking to them directly, what comes up for you? What might you need to enable you to go talk to them directly?